My Husband's Vasectomy Experience.

Finally! What I thought would never happen has taken place! My husband had promised to get a vasectomy after our 2nd child was born. However, for various reasons it just did not happen. Plus I'm sure he was more than a little hesitant to do so. Who can blame him? It turned out to be a blessing. Along came our beautiful little girl Diva Janiyah and  Xavier Elijah (our son from my current pregnancy). 

I am so ready to deliver! This pregnancy has exhausted me more than any other and I think since I am thinner this time around the load seems extra heavy. Right now the only face I want to make is this.....

....Ok, well maybe not! I hope to be fortunate enough to have another easy delivery. But I think you get my point. 

Well, I don't have to worry about getting pregnant again. With all the birth control scares, I think I'll pass. His Vasectomy seemed like the most practical way to go for us.

He actually filmed his experience at the doctor's office!  Watch below, comment, like, share, and subscribe! New Vids Will Be Out Every Tuesday! 

The Reality of my Daughter's Beauty

When I was my daughter's age, I hated my hair. I hated that it wasn't straight. That it took me forever to get ready in the morning and even if I was with someone who knew how to comb my hair, it felt like a torture session. I wanted "white girl hair" (a term I used when I was eight). I was even jealous of my full black sister's short relaxed hair. Although she probably wished she had  my hair, I would've traded places with her in a second. 


My oldest daughter's curls are long, but tighter than mine. Over the years I worried about how she would accept her own beautiful hair. One day her hair will be down to her behind and the next it will stop at the nape of her neck. 






This morning my daughter woke up with a HUGE afro.  Her hair reminded me of Solange Knowles. Although I straighten it once a year for a couple of weeks (no real reason, just don't feel like spending more than two hours a year to do it, lol). I made it a point for her to love her natural hair. The reality of her beauty. She looked in the mirror and moved the section that was hanging over her eyes out her way. She said "Mommy, I love my hair like this. Can we keep it this way?"

For me to hear her say that made me tear up. I did my job. One girl down, one more to go. 

                                                     

90 Days to Make It

When I first met my husband I felt that he was a very self-centered jerk. Apparently he had similar feelings about me. Unfortunately these feelings had occurred well before our first "Hello.". I worked at the mall in a Jewelry store that caters mostly to military personal. At the risk of coming across conceited, I did receive  A LOT of attention from the male soldiers. So he made the assumption that I was vain and chose not to speak to me in a welcoming manner. That attention did work to my benefit. I mean I am naturally shy, and it takes a lot for me to approach people I don't know. That is not a good trait if you're in sales and 90% of your costumers are lured into the store with witty conversation. Often I didn't have to say more then "Hello" or "Where are you from" to get the male soldiers into my store. Once the ice was broken I would close majority  of my sales. A girl had bills!!

After constantly seeing one anther at various places, what was once annoying became sweet serendipity. Evil glares turned into a few forced acknowledgements of each others presence such as a head nod or a "Hello". Those soon became a conversation of laughs and giggles and then our first date. I knew he was mine from that point on.

I picked up pretty quickly that he is a natural entertainer, and from the jump suggested that he pursue a career in comedy and/or acting. Trust me when I say it wasn't out of love because he was mine, I might be a little too quick to let him know what I think is good or not (I'm not always right according to his audience, lol) but out of pure belief and faith in him. He had a few successful small showcases with stand up comedy and had done several student and independent films. In January I was 7 months into my pregnancy with our fourth child. It seems whenever I become pregnant he feels the pressure to become successful more than usual. He made a promise to me that he would make it in Hollywood in 90 days. He even got a small part on Southland's season 5 episode 1 as an EMT. However, he was highly disappointed when his scene was cut and came across as just an "extra" in the background. That would have been an awesome reel! But hey, that's Hollywood. Fortunately he didn't take it personal, he knows that even the greatest scenes can be cut because it just doesn't go with the flow of the film.

My husband, LaVelle LaRue, decided to connect with a group of highly skilled people to create a reality show of himself, featuring our family, trying his best to make it in Hollywood in 90 days. You will all have the opportunity to view his struggles, our family struggles, and of course our highlights. In the process, those who desire to make it in Hollywood will learn the "Dos and Don'ts" of the industry through LaVelle LaRue's trial and errors.

Originally the show was intended for a major network. However, after a few meetings it was said that we "are too positive for a black mainstream reality TV family.".  That unless we can "raise hell" or be deemed in some kind of negative light, no one would be interested. Well, one thing we have definitely learned as a family is that no one will determine our future but us. So what is our next move? To keep on moving forward of course! Producing your very own show can be quite expensive with the cost of the crew and marketing. So we are asking those of you who are would like to see the up and downs of making it in the industry to donate here. You can donate as little as $1. Every bit counts! Rewards are given from good Karma to an interview with the cast and more!

To understand more, please view the video below. It's up to you if the show goes on or not. =)

                                                          

Baby Tone DVD Giveaway *WINNER SELECTED*

 

Congratulations to contest winner Sarah! She posted comment number 12 and was selected using random.org. Sarah said "Looks like my LO would love it!". Sarah, I will contact you via email. Please respond within 48 hours to claim your prize.

 I've recently had the pleasure of reviewing the "Baby Tone" DVDs for Dustin Maher, creator of the Fit Moms For Life movement. I anticipated the DVD's arrival. I hoped it would be all that I expected and worried it would be too much for me too handle. To clarify, this workout program allows new mothers or those with small children to workout out at home with baby. My baby is almost 19 months old and weights 20lbs. What if I couldn't lift her?




I shouldn't have been too concerned. I have been working out at the gym regularly and lift up to 60 lbs on occasion. But I was still excited to know that I can workout with my baby. Yay Us!

 I was so tired by this point! But it was so worth it!

I recall when I first had my daughter. Almost immediately I began working out. She was too young for child care at the gym, so I worked out at home using my own body weight against me. My husband helping me each excruciating step along the way. Not only was I working off the weight from my recent pregnancy, but the weight from my other two as well. As much as it hurt to ignore my child's needs for an hour (allowing her father to tend to her) I kept telling myself that I have to be selfish with this time. Happy mommy, means a happy baby....RIGHT??

If only I knew then, what I know now. My baby girl and I have been bonding! She loves the workouts. Sure, I grunt and pant while she giggles herself to exhaustion. But it is so worth it! My older children take part as well! I love being a great example for them. I lunged, they lunged. I did a push up, they did one (sort of). 

 To make this a fair review, I stayed away from the gym all week. I was nervous about losing muscle tone. But I really needed to make sure this product was everything I hoped it would be.By day two, my muscles were as sore as they would have been if I had hit the gym. Also, while lifting my Diva (yes, that is her real name), I noticed that my muscles had reached the point of fatigue as they do with weights at the gym. I have not suffered muscle loss at all. Please keep in mind that I am use to lifting, and that my baby is 20lbs. I know in the beginning she would have been great as a weight as well, since back then I could hardly lift 5 lbs with proper form.

I also love that I can switch to dumbbells if Diva gets to heavy for me! Of course, she looks at me like I am insane for putting her down. I thought I would have to go to the gym to do cardio, however, there is also a cardio section that allows 30 sec intervals of intense movement! We can do anything for 30 seconds, right? Come on! You can do it!

Might I add, that I have always hated how the participants in exercise videos NEVER look exhausted!! But the woman in this video DOES get exhausted! I LOVE IT!! I feel like she is feeling what I am! I know it is silly but I always feel as though most video are taunting me saying "Look what I can do, without breaking a sweat! You weakling!"

So seriously....with proper diet and exercise with the DVDs, I actually lost 5 pounds! The same five pounds I have been struggling with. I couldn't have received this at a better time. I knew it was time for me to switch up my program a little and this has definitely helped! I will not replace the gym with the DVDs entirely, but they will certainly come in handy the three days out of the week I find it difficult to go.

Visit http://dustinmaherfitness.com/ to see other videos dedicated to the core, back and shoulders, bootcamp DVDs, and more.

Also, if you are interested in becoming part of the Fit Moms For Life Movement, just click HERE. You can began a free mom's group in your area. The goal is one group for every McDonalds in America. The support and start up packet are provided for free! 

GIVEAWAY TIME!! 

One lucky follower will receive a FREE Baby Tone DVD

RULES: (Open to U.S and Canada residents only)

The rules are simple. 

1)Follow my blog by clicking the "JOIN THIS SITE" button found on the top right column.

2) Leave a comment below with your email address.

GIVEAWAY ENDS ON 10/30!

Winner will be notified by email and must respond within 48hrs or a different winner will be selected!  

The winner will be found using Random.org. Each comment will be provided a number in the sequence they are given.

Equipment needed for Baby Tone DVD:

1.) Chair or bench to step onto

2.) Exercise ball: 55 cm or 65 cm

3.) Dumbbells: 8, 10, 12, 15, 20, and higher as you progress

4.) Baby front and back carrier

5.) Stretching mat (optional)

6.) Stroller (optional)

Like Mother, Like Daughter

I have now been a mother for 7 years, and I still feel as though I am grasping the fact that I am actually a mom. Some mornings I wake up and I wonder "Where did these little people come from?". I often reminisce of the days I was able to sleep in, party late, and not have to cook, EVER! As my mother would eloquently put it "One #@$@ to wipe, and one mouth to feed." .

With that being said, I love my three little sidekicks to pieces. They drive me crazy at times, but the truth is I look forward to their smiles, and their laughter that takes my breath away. They are wonderful and I try very hard to be the best mother I can be. I sometimes ask myself "Do I deserve these wonderful little beings?".

 Ignore the date, eventually I'll remember to remove it before I take pics.

As my children become older, I realize that how much they mimic me and my husband. My son wears my husband's boots. My daughters continuously go into my closet and play dress up. My one year old walks around the house wearing my 6inch heels and has perfected the "stiletto strut". My 7 year old knows my makeup routine step by step. I have even caught her trying to discipline her siblings in the same manner I discipline her. Of course, this is something that I have corrected. Not to mention the things that they say!

Bottom line, I am learning that what "they" say is true. We are our children's first and primary role models. It can be a little scary! Think about it. Father's are the primary example of what a man should be in the eyes of our children. Mother's are the primary example of what a woman should be in the eyes of children. Who do you want your child to become or share their lives with? We can tell our children many times not the be like us, but it is inevitable. So I try to censor myself around them (especially my daughters) and be an example of the personality and moral traits I would like them to have.I know they won't be perfect, but I will try might best to teach them how to make the right decisions.

 The Smith family are a great example of children mimicking their parents.

Photo courtesy of : http://www.flickr.com/photos/chicagofabulous/5436129353/

More Than A Pacifier

Every since I became a mother and a wife, my life has become less and less about me. Sound familiar? For my first year of motherhood I was a working mother while my husband was in the Army. I worked between 60-80 hours per week (depending on the time of year). I loved my job, until I became a mother. I despised the guilt I felt everyday when it was time to leave my daughter. 

Shortly after she turned one we moved to California. My husband worked from home while I worked a forty hour work week. It was great! I felt I had a lot more time to spend with my child. However the feeling did not last long. Yes, I enjoyed spending more time with my daughter, but something was still missing. It took awhile for me to figure out what it was. I was missing a career. At the moment I was just some one's employee, mother, and wife. I served a purpose to many people. I did not have a purpose that was for, well, me. So for the next nine months I went to school and received my certification in television broadcasting. This of course meant that I was away from my daughter from 8am-11:30pm. Majority of the time she was sleeping when I left and when I arrived home. Sometimes my husband would let her stay up late so she could see me.

Shortly before I completed school, I became pregnant with our second child. My husband was working again, so he thought it would be best if I quit my job and focused on what I really wanted to do in my life. I have to be honest. I quit my job, but focusing on my goals went "out the window". I was consumed with my pregnancy and my daughter, and most of the time I was just out right lazy! I kept putting it off for "tomorrow".

After my son was born, I learned the true meaning of motherhood. He was a constant cryer (with me anyway). I couldn't put him down, not even while he was sleeping. Months later I somehow had him on a schedule that worked for me. I decided to start modeling (it was something I always wanted to do).

I had one problem....I was overweight (too the modeling world). SO WHAT!! I did not care....I was going to model no matter what. I felt that if I waited for everything to be perfect I would never do it. So I told myself I am going to model while I lose weight. I found some photographer who could help me start my portfolio. This what I ended up...

Man was I scared! I expected the photographers to laugh at me, or tell me I was too big too shoot. They did this for free after all! That did not happen at all! Instead, each and every single one of them provided me with great useful tips. I gained confidence and I learned that no matter what we look like there is room for just about anyone in the modeling world. I even did a maternity photo shoot...

My goal was to show the true image of motherhood (no photo shop here...lol)

Honestly, when I became pregnant with my third and final child I found myself in the same slump. After she was born it seemed that all I did was the bare minimum (feed the kids, minimal housework, etc). I was depressed. It could have been postpartum depression, but it was not a good fit for me. One day, when my husband was home, he noticed that majority of my time was spent nursing the baby. If I was not nursing her, then I was simply holding her and she is not the type of baby who cries when someone puts her down (she allows me to get a lot done). When my husband took notice of this he said to me "Baby, no disrespect, but you are more than a pacifier, you need to get it in gear.". I was mortified that he noticed, but he was right!

But what did I have to "get in gear, exactly"? I needed to decided what would truly make me happy. Here is my list: get in shape, work for myself, master motherhood as much as possible, become a published author, and model.  At first I thought this is going to take up a lot of my time, and I was worried about being selfish. I mentioned my concerns to my husband and he reminded me that if I am not happy, our children will not be happy. I needed to finally take care of me, even if it meant saying "NO" to his request.

I use to believe that being a mother meant giving up selfish ways. However, there is a problem with that way of thinking; everything makes you feel selfish when you become a mother. When I work, I feel guilt for not spending enough time with my kids. When I am not working, I feel guilty about the lack of income. If I shop for myself I feel guilty because I think this is money that can be spent on the kids. Bottom line, when I started doing stuff for myself, I realized that I still had plenty of time to spend with my children and they were happier!! 

Please do not be afraid to do whatever your dreams are! I do not care how old you are! I am almost thirty and I modeling! Get it together, Domina!!

Think Like A Domina

Today turned out to be such a beautiful day, and I am not talking about the weather! It simply was because I claimed it to be so. At times I wake up and despise how I think the day will turn out. My mind instantly thinks of the task I do not feel like doing. "I do not feel like waking up and getting Queen ready for school", "I HATE working out.", "Why do the dishes keep appearing in the sink?". I found myself complaining about everything! On top of the complaints, I have my worries. I worry about the bills, transportation, family, and the list could go on! In my opinion this not how a powerful woman thinks. This is not how a true Domina thinks. How can I be a Domina if I do not have control of my feelings?

Normally I do not complain or worry out loud. I truly do not want to bring anyone down or bother them with my problems. But that does not mean they do not exist. Does that make me any better than the person who does complain out loud? NO! I use to think it did, but the truth is we are both still complaining instead of finding the positive in the situation or finding a solution to fix the problem.

Over the last couple of weeks I have been on a mission to change how I FEEL about the things I  usually complain about. I would not have been able to get through today's workout without a positive attitude. But all I really know so far is to FEEL happy and think positive. I know it sounds hard; who can be positive 100% of the time? I personally do not know anyone who can, but I have met some wonderful people who have come close. My husband is one those people. 

My husband, La Velle La Rue, has been through more strife than anyone I know...(well almost anyone). Here is a quick run down: He is an Army Veteran, he use to weight 300 pounds, suffered from PTSD and severe depression, he has seen the deaths of many Army comrades and close family, has been shot during his tour in Iraq, and at one time was considered pre-diabetic....and that is just the stuff I am comfortable mentioning. 

My point is, if my husband can change for the better (inside and out) than I know I can. He  has read many books to help him with his journey. They have been sitting on my dresser saying "You know  you should read us. The answer is here; just open us and read.".  So I am making an attempt to read one chapter each night before bed. I recently purchased a book that I found appealing. Yeah, so I like the cover..."What cha gotta a problem with that?!" lol....(I'll read those other books later). Any how, here is the book I am currently reading ...

...

So far I have only read chapter one, and I really find it intriguing. At my husband's suggestion, I will  give away this book once I have completed reading it.  Simply because I know there is someone out there who needs it more than lil ole me. Yes, it will be used, but let's think positive...IT'S A FREE BOOK! lol...

Here are some books my husband has read to help him with his mental transformation:

, ,  , ....

Heread all of these books. These are all pretty short reads, but if you are interested in the message of all three then he suggest reading this book instead...

It is going to take some practice, but positive thinking here I come!!